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Mentees, their managers, and mentors have many questions about mentoring. Effective forums for answering these issues are provided through focus groups, program orientations and training workshops. These issues, if not addressed, form barriers to participation in the program, which ultimately deprives both mentors and mentees from benefiting from a mentoring partnership. Some of the often-asked questions are below.
- Is mentoring in a formalized format
“ real” mentoring?
The mentoring is real because it is entered into a voluntary agreement between two parties in order to accomplish a specific purpose. Each party understands the need to build the relationship from the ground up with full commitment to make it productive and satisfying. The commitment of both parties is documented in the form of a written agreement or learning plan, which contains their own ground rules for the partnership, statement of roles, expectations, learning objectives and discussion topics. - How can you build trust in a relationship
that is somewhat “ manufactured”?
Once the partners have created their agreement and begin to live by it, they begin to build trust in the same way as in other relationships. Trust is earned, gradually. Trust is built from knowledge gathered over a period of time about how others operate. Most of us are continually asking ourselves a series of basic questions that we need to have answered in order for us to trust. We ask such questions as, “ Does this person keep their word? Does the person walk the talk? Is the person believable?” When we have gathered enough information about how another person operates, we feel sage in making predictions about what he or she are likely to do.
The more we share without harm coming to us and the more we gain from the sharing, the more likely we are to trust and divulge additional information about ourselves without fear of a breach of confidentiality. - What is the role of the mentee’s
supervisor? Does it change?
The role of the mentee’s supervisor does not change in relation to his or her duties toward subordinates. As the mentee grows in capability to communicate across levels, and works more closely with his or her supervisor in developmental assignments, the relationship between supervisor and subordinate is likely to change in a positive direction. The vast majority of supervisors relish the positive changes in their subordinates, and many wish they had the time, energy and know-how to invest in all of their subordinates’ development. - Will the supervisor feel threatened
by the presence of a mentor?
There are individuals who are not comfortable with a senior-level person influencing the career of a subordinate ( mentee). The supervisor can use these feelings as a signal that her or his own growth and development needs some attention. - What about the time commitment?
One of the great advantages of mentoring dialogues is that they take very little time in actual hours invested to produce a learning result. After the orientation and training phases are completed, mentor/mentee partners spend about 2 to 4 hours per month together. The actual number of hours varies according to the guidelines development by each program. - How long does it take?
These regularly scheduled meetings take place over a twelve month period. The time spent together is incorporated into their schedules so that there is very little disruption of the partners’ daily work routines. - Should we use company time or are
we strictly on our own time?
Many mentor/mentee pairs meet over lunch. Most pairs find it very convenient to have their regular discussions over an extended lunch that often includes company time. Occasionally, a mentee accompanies a mentor to a meeting, conference, or other event. These events are usually on company time or at least company sanctioned. - If we volunteer, and find it doesn’t
work, how can we make changes or quit altogether?
Leaving a partnership is perfectly permissible. The conditions under which the partnership should be dissolved might be discussed during the agreement phase. We strongly suggest that, prior to making the decision to terminate a partnership, the disappointed party first talk it through with a member of the Mentoring Coordinating Team.
When problems arise in a mentoring relationship that should not become a reason to automatically discard it. Conflicts and misunderstandings can arise in any relationship that could lead us to believe that the partnership isn’t working. These conflicts, disagreements or disappointments are frequently growth opportunities that need to be addressed on an individual or partnership basis.
Working through the problems that may arise in a mentoring relationship is a part of the development opportunity that makes a mentoring relationship so unique and worthwhile as a learning experience. - Is it safe to be truthful? What about
potential lawsuits and liabilities?
This is truly a delicate and tricky issue. The mentor/mentee relationship is designed to be of the highest order of confidentiality. Yet, we know that there may be times when the mentor or mentee will be compelled to go outside the relationship to discuss an unusual circumstance.
The ideal method of handling such a situation would be to first discuss the necessity of reporting any illegal or unethical activity with one’s mentoring partner. Recommend that you contact Employee Counseling and Consultation for guidance. Then, as a result of the discussion, they decide together on the appropriate course of action.
We strongly suggest that, when in doubt, contact a member of the Mentoring Coordination Team. - Why can’t my supervisor or manager
by my mentor?
Many supervisors mentor their subordinates who report directly to them. There are many reasons why it is a desirable arrangement, and many reasons why it is not.
On the pro side are the opportunities for frequent contact, convenience, and knowledge of the mentee’s potential and development needs. On the con side are the issues of favoritism, the need to evaluate the person as an employee, and the envy of other subordinates.
In Section III, this issue was discussed in some detail. - How can we safely address race and
gender issues in a cross cultural match?
Sharing experiences and perspectives is a natural part of a growing mentoring relationship. The issues of race and gender can be a very rich source of learning for both parties. Exploring diversity issues within a mentoring relationship can be part of the agreed-upon agenda or allowed to come up naturally in the discussions. Entry into the dialogue can be as simple as, “ I want to know what it’s like to be a young mother in today’s workforce. Is this something you feel comfortable sharing with me?”
Almost any issue can be addressed if we remember that no one wants to have her/his perspective, ideas or opinions devalued or belittled. If we “ seek first to understand, and then to be understood,” almost any issue can be explored in a mentoring partnership. - Do mentees or mentors expect to be
rewarded for their involvement?
If people are expecting an immediate monetary or other reward for their involvement in a mentoring partnership, they will probably be very disappointed. The rewards of mentoring are intrinsic — the rewards are in the same vein as those achieved in any learning endeavor.
The focus of mentoring is the development of an individual’s personal skills and professional competencies. Many find that they can eventually convert these learning benefits into a monetary reward or promotion. But most people do not experience any immediate tangible benefits from mentoring. - More specifically, do mentees expect
a promotion, and are the mentors involved to meet a required management
objective?
Mentees should not expect a promotion because of mentoring. Many mentees hope that their mentor will sponsor them for a promotion or refer them to an upper-level job. Sometimes such sponsorship occurs. It cannot reasonably be expected unless the mentoring relationship is in full maturity (2-5 years duration) and the mentor has enough faith and confidence in the mentee to extend himself or herself in this way.
Mentors may be involved in mentoring because it is a part of the company’s strategic development objectives. This should not be seen as a reason to mistrust the person’s commitment. This is yet another opportunity for greater access to the knowledge and expertise of senior-level persons. It really does not matter what the person’s motivations are at the beginning of a partnership. What matters is the commitment and outcome for both parties. These usually grow with increasing involvement in the partnership and the program. - How can mentees keep their peers from
becoming jealous?
Peer jealousy is most intense in the early stages of mentoring programs. This is usually the case because the mentee is picked from a group of potential candidates and selected to be a part of a small test group. Frequently peers believe that the mentee test group is earmarked for the fast track, and that mentoring is a form of special and favored treatment. The makeup of a prototype group usually needs to be carefully controlled. This feature of prototype groups will be communicated to the other organizations within ( your company) as the program is implemented. As a program completes its pilot phase and is opened to more employees, the initial suspicions tend to evaporate. Some mentees report that one way to diminish the envy of peers is to engage in peer mentoring by regularly sharing new knowledge with them.
Other mentees have been instrumental in helping their peers to meet potential mentors through more informal channels that are available.